A few weeks ago some poor fellow attempted to break into my car. Why, I can't really be sure. In the darkness they must not have noticed the broken front headlight, the dented front and back bumpers, the mess of the interior, or the fact that if you lift your leg high enough you can basically step right over the thing. The alley must just be that dark.
To get in, they removed the lock from the driver's side door. I'm not sure if they succeeded and then came to their senses, deciding not to take the car (or the homemade CDs inside, the only thing of value on the whole vehicle). But they took the lock with them.
Rather than pay 3x the value of the car to get the lock replaced, I've taken to shimmying across the passenger seat to get in the car. And, boy, is it a riot! When it snows I carefully tap my toes together, dusting off the wet in a very Dorothy fashion. When I'm wearing a skirt or dress things get creative. I've found my yoga ability has strengthened with this daily twist-and-tuck practice. Finally, it's totally satisfying to watch people's confused faces as I bail out of or plunge into the passenger-side door. Gas stations can be particularly comical.
You only hope you'll get to see this circus, my friends.
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