The Very Vacation-y Saga. Episode 1: Full Exposure

Hello, all! Sorry it has taken me so long to get this to you. I'm finding that my life pursuits are shooting like rose petals in a million directions, and while this isn't something I'm unhappy with it makes time management tricky. I've prioritized writing in this blog, where my only followers are apparently in Singapore, underneath some of my other endeavors. But I do love to talk, especially when I don't have to deal with a response. ;)

Of course, the other reason this post was so long coming is because I feel like I've got a lot that I want to say and am unsure about how to say it or what you even care about! So I'll start with the most embarrassing since those posts usually go over well. I will also break up my vacation into shorter articles. I believe this may tease you into reading more and it will make my thoughts much more manageable. Plus, I've always wanted to write short stories.

As you know, I won my Southwest Airlines ticket in a race. My prize was a sort of green receipt with booking instructions. I didn't bring the receipt to the airport as it didn't have any details of my flight information on it; I had my booking ticket and figured that was all they needed. Wrong. When I was informed that I had to get the green receipt to get my booking ticket I was forced to call my mom (who was driving back to work) and have her go to my house, retrieve the green receipt, and bring it back to the airport. Let's do the math. It was 9:16. My flight left at 10:20. It would take my mom 1/2 hour to drive to my house and 1/2 hour to drive back to the airport. That's tighter than Hilary Clinton's...forget it.

I've never looked so much like a terrorist in my life. I went outside to the waiting area and paced like a lion in a cage. I prayed with every bone in my body, saying this: "Fate, I know that you've got whatever planned that you want to give but please throw me a bone here. I'm so grateful for this opportunity and know that I can re-book if I don't make it, but I really just don't want to have to do that. Please let this happen!" I texted my Grandma and friends and had them say a little prayer. And I prayed for the Godspeed and safety of my mother.

She arrived at 10:06 and without stopping the car threw the ticket to me. I ran down to security. With tears in my eyes I begged other people to let me through the line. Shockingly, all did; some even expressed empathy. Of course security asked me to go through the body scan. When I stepped out she pulled me aside for extra screening. People, I was wearing a t-shirt and the lightest skirt known to man. Where, I beg, might I have been holding a grenade? When she motioned me to the side I stammered, "Please, please let me go. My flight leaves in 10 minutes." "10 minutes?" she responded. "The doors are already closed." I pleaded, "Please just let me try!"

I didn't hear her say "Ok" because I was already running barefoot to the trains for the terminals. Over the speaker John Hickenlooper welcomed me to Denver as a simultaneously begged for deliverance and thanked Fate for getting me this far. Escalators are cold on bare feet, but I didn't care. I flashed half of the airport as my skirt flew up when I ran (see any grenades, security lady?). I flew to the gate; it was empty but the door was open. I ran down the ramp. The guy at the end stood there laughing at me, took my ticket, and welcomed me on flight.

Somehow, there was a window seat left. My poor seatmates looked at me very oddly as I exclaimed breathlessly, "Omygod Itotallymadeit! Thatwas like A MOVIE!" and giggled hysterically. What an entrance.

And that's how I made my flight to D.C. I spent the rest of the flight thanking Fate from the bottom of my toes, through my newly exposed behind, and up to the top of my head.

If you've got a bottle of wine send it my mom's way. In fact, I hope one day to buy her a whole liquor store. My only regret is that no one was there to see me stumble, barefoot, through the airport, like I was saving a kitten from a fire. Oh, the drama...

Next Episode: Travel Karma.